I always wanted to go but i am just so burnt out with the military, I dont know what it is but tradoc just has drained every bit of drive I have. Plus the thought of being away for another 3 months (at a minimum) and then coming back home and getting deployed again just isn't that apealing. I still am lacking a civilian job partly because of being in the guard and not having much time to find anything. I dont know, I just feel like there is too much stuff waiting on me back home. am I just being a coward?