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random ramblings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Oct 12, 2003.

  1. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

    Likes Received:
    Aug 20, 2000
    Colluder in Cahoots
    - Earlier today I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

    - If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UPS?

    - If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    - Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

    - What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    - I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

    - I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.

    - Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

    - If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

    - If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

    - If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

    - Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

    - I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

    - So what's the speed of dark?

    - After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

    - If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

    - I just got skylights put in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.

    - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.