Ramblings of our Famous People_fun read

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pupcuss27, Aug 11, 2007.

  1. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

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    Ramblings.

    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
    -- Eleanor Roosevelt

    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
    -- Mark Twain

    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
    -- George Burns

    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
    - - Victor Borg


    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
    -- Socrates

    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
    -- Groucho Marx

    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
    -- Alex Levine

    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
    Then it's time for my nap.
    -- Bob Hope

    I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
    -- W.C. Fields

    We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
    -- Will Rogers

    Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you
    -- Winston Churchill

    [

    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
    -- Phyllis Diller

    By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
    -- Billy Crystal

    The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.



    Give me a sense of humor, Lord;



    Give me the grace to see a joke,



    To get some humor out of life,



    And pass it on to other folk.



    Amen!
     
  2. DriBak

    DriBak GUNS UP Millennium Member

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  3. MrKandiyohi

    MrKandiyohi Millennium Member

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    :thumbsup:

    These are going on to my dad. Thanks
     
  4. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

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    IT'S GETTIN' HARD TO FIND "GREAT HUMOR" THESE DAY'S.
    YA' LEFT A ME WITH A 'GREAT MOMENT' AND WHEN YOU SAID YOU
    WERE COPYING THIS TO YOUR DAD...:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
     
  5. MARKDANIEL

    MARKDANIEL

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    I never knew Mark Twain met hillery!