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Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by Paul53, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. Paul53

    Paul53 Authorized SKYNET Distributor.

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    I see these little trailers around here and there reminding people what the posted speed limit is, and what speed they are driving.

    What I want to know is, how do I know if I get the high score?

    Also, why do you guys talk so funny in court? "I observed the suspect traveling at a high rate of speed". Can't you just say "going like a raped ape" or just say speeding? Is it the lawyers or the cop shows that cause that?

    On a serious note, as a long time ER Nurse, I've always admired the restraint that LEO's show in the face of a thankless job. Thanks for the work you do.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2012
  2. Aux Bear

    Aux Bear

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    If you "Win" we pull out a block down, stop you, and give you an Instant Winner Ticket! And, it's the Legal Beagles that force the legaleez language.
     

  3. Ohio Cop

    Ohio Cop

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    Do you think that I don't want to say on the stand, "well, counselor, your client was so drunk he **** himself in te back of my car. The only reason he refused the test was because he kept vomiting cheap vodka in a trash can"?

    No we have to speak legaleese. :)


    Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine
     
  4. Kahr_Glockman

    Kahr_Glockman

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    That may be one of the funniest things that I have read in a long time.:rofl:
     
  5. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

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    A lot of us are trained in cop-ese. It sounds soooo much more official to say "I activated my marked vehicle's overhead-mounted emergency lighting equipment to effect an enforcement stop" instead of "I turned on my red lights and he pulled over". Once you're stopped, you exit your marked vehicle and initiate contact with the aforementoned defendant. Getting out of your car and speaking with someone just sounds, well, normal. And if you're writing a search warrant, it apparently is absolutely essential to some guys to write like a 16th century British lawyer-playwright. "Wherefore your Affiant prays the Court for issuance of a warrant...". Come on, the judge isn't going to turn you down if it says "I request that a warrant is issued.".

    Be a person, not some robot who is stuck in week 1 at the academy forever.
     
  6. blueiron

    blueiron

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    Ever examine Medicalese? It's worse than just about any 'professional speak' extant.
     
  7. CitizenOfDreams

    CitizenOfDreams

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    That explains all those "wrong house" police blunders. The SWAT team probably has to solve riddles to read the street address from the warrant.
     
  8. Paul53

    Paul53 Authorized SKYNET Distributor.

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    Medicalese? Got me there, can I plead the 5th?

    I hope you're taking my post as I meant it, humorous. If I've offended anybody, I apologize.
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2012
  9. blueiron

    blueiron

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    No offense taken, but most people think Sagittal is a astrologic sign.
     
  10. Hack

    Hack Crazy CO Gold Member

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    Heck, depending on whom you are writing for at work they demand proper grammar to the extent of well placed punctuation.
     
  11. janice6

    janice6 Silver Member

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    The worst example of clear and concise writing I have seen was on my patent applications. I proof read one that had a single paragraph that was two pages long.

    At first I corrected them. Then the lawyers kept changing them back and I learned my lesson.

    I was told that writing this way made it very difficult to break them, so the lawyers said.
     
  12. Paul53

    Paul53 Authorized SKYNET Distributor.

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    I always prided myself in being able to translate medical jargon into understandable terms for patients. They always do better when they understand what the doctor meant. I'm also not a "just do this" person. I find that teaching patients the why's helps them help themselves better.

    I pride myself inmy writing abilities, have had a few articles published. Still, like most people, I can't comprehend the stuff lawyers write. It seems like intentional double talk to give lawyers something to argue with each other about.
     
  13. scottydl

    scottydl

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    ^^ Perfect example of unnecessary (but required) legalese in Illinois is the "Warning to Motorist" that must be read during DUI arrest processing. We are required to read word-for-word (takes about 5 minutes) seemingly endless repeating legal text without allowing any interruptions or questions. Then I usually sum it up for the defendant in about 5 seconds... "blow in this machine in 20 minutes and your license is only suspended for 6 months. Otherwise it's a year." How it was turned into so much legal mumbo-jumbo is beyond me.
     
  14. GumbyDammit

    GumbyDammit Xtra CoCheese

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    Our DUI form has several sections I read verbatim to avoid any issues in court, however I have yet to read them and not have to restate it in normal English so the customer can understand.
     
  15. nikerret

    nikerret Mr. Awesome

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    Which part of that are e not allowed to say?

    My favorite thing to do in court is directly quote the then suspect. Some attorneys freak the F out.

    Officer, what made you believe my client was under the influence?

    It's Deputy, and he told me, "I was drunk before I even got to the bar and I knew I shouldn't be driving. Can't you just let me walk home?" My further investigation verified this claim.
     
  16. indigent

    indigent Bamboozled

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    When I was a jail medic and doing quite a bit of DWI blood draws, I used to repeatedly tell the attorney that i didn't understand his question. For no other reason than to see how many different ways he could ask the same one.....
     
  17. Kahr_Glockman

    Kahr_Glockman

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    I just thought it was because you were trying be an a-hole?:dunno:
     
  18. jtull7

    jtull7 Pistolero CLM

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    When I was the elected prosecutor in Amarillo, our Medical Examiner was a Cuban-American. He has a very thick Cuban accent. Between his accent and his "medicalese," he was almost non-understandable by West Texans. He reduced several Court Reporters to tears trying to get his testimony down correctly. He was a good guy, though, and a good Doctor.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2012
  19. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

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    There used to be a couple of CHP officers here who were car partners, so they'd always appear together on their cases. One officer was from inner-city Philly and spoke fast on top of that, and the other was from the Bronx. They always wound up in front of the same judge, who was from smalltown Ohio and could hardly understand a word either of them said. :supergrin:
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2012
  20. indigent

    indigent Bamboozled

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    You know me, I'd never act that way........