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Quotes about the French

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by kentley, Mar 11, 2003.

  1. kentley


    Likes Received:
    Apr 2, 2002
    "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
    --- Mark Twain

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
    --- General George S. Patton

    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
    ---- Marge Simpson

    "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
    --- Regis Philbin

    "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
    --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

    "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
    --- John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

    How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
    One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

    Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
    "Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
    --- Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense

    "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
    --- Jacques Chirac, President of France
    "As far as France is concerned, you're right."
    --- Rush Limbaugh

    "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
    --- Argus Hamilton

    "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once."
    --- Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

    "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." --- Dennis Miller

    "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
    --- Dennis Miller

    Q. Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
    A. Germans like to march in the shade.

    "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
    --- Conan O'Brien

    "I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
    --- Jay Leno

    "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
    --- David Letterman

    "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
    --- Rep. R. Blount (MO)

    "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
    --- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

    And don't anyone say "www.snopes....." I think their funny....
  2. Johnnyvegas


    Likes Received:
    Oct 3, 2002
    Idaho Panhandle
    I think I like this guy!

  3. David_G17

    David_G17 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

    Likes Received:
    Oct 7, 2002
    The French have now banned fireworks displays at Euro Disney.

    The reason: after last evenings fireworks display the soldiers at a nearby French army garrison surrendered