It's time to turn off your computer when... ...you wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, but stop to check your email first. ...you name your children Eudora, Aol, and Dotcom. ...you turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling as if you pulled the plug on a loved-one. ...you spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment. ...you decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. ...you laugh at people with 14.4 baud modems. ...you start using smileys in your snail mail (if you even remember what that is). ...you find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com ...you refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. ...you can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. ...you check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again. ...you don't know what gender your three closest friends are because they have neutral screen-names, and you never bothered to ask. ...you move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape. ...you tell the cab driver to take you to http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html. ...you start tilting your head sideways to smile.