Pun time

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Slobberchops, Jul 19, 2004.

  1. Slobberchops

    Slobberchops WTF?!?!?

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    Apr 14, 2003
    Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
    My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
    Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
    Practice safe eating: always use condiments.
    I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
    A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
    Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
    I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
    I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
    If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
    Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
    Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
    Banning the bra was a big flop.
    Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
    Without geometry, life is pointless.
    When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.