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"Puerto Rican Resume"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    "Puerto Rican Resume"


    MARTHA MARIA FIGUEROA DELACRUZ DE LOS SANTOS DE EL CAMINO DE LA REINA
    15 South Projectos, Apartamento El Baisman
    El Bronx, Nueva Jork wung wung for sero sero
    SELULA FON: (917) 555-5555 (today is terned off but I will get de monee order tumoro)
    FON DE LA CASA: Neybor's fon, (788)999-9999 (just ask for me and they will yell for me)

    OBJECTED:
    Juan day (maybe after dis job) I wanna opin a Day Kare in mine own apartment for teng kidz.


    SKELLZ:
    I wash my sisters kidz wheng she goes to de dancing at 'Latin Quarta', I shange the kidz pamperz, misk de milk and shocolate Quick in da botella whilg I wash de novelas at de saing tine.


    EJUCACION:
    I grajuaded from fif grade. Deng I grajuated from aighf grade. Deng I learned alot from my tia Juana, she let me quit skool so she cood show me to babysit my cozins, Juan, Pito, Tito,Flaco, Papo, Chavela, Chavelo, and Yvette (pobrecita, she dunt even nose who her papi iz!!!)


    WORK ESPERIENCE:
    Wheng I got tired of babysittin, I woked in a fabrica sowing and stealing dresses. Reason for leabing: My jefe Hector, tried to hit on me and his lady 'Luz Maria' caught himg. Deng I got anofa jub at B.I.M. storez , i wuz eng charge of foldeng de genes. Reason for leabing: Tio Juan died in my other country and I hadda go to de funeraria. I din't no him, but I hadda go ova dare, you know, for mortal support and all dat. So anywhey, my jefe got mad and fired me. Deng I stayed home and sold 'Avon' cosmeticos. I hadda to quik becose I orderd too muco stuff for my familia and dey didng paid. So weng 'Avon' axed me furr de monee I didng hab it. My last jub was at "Mi Baby Papi Chulo Day Care" I wached all the kidz for all the moders who hadda get on welfel.


    REFERENCES:
    Jus call the payfon ecross de estreet and ask anywung ebout MARIA LA LOCA, eberyone know me and dey tell ju all ebout mee.


    ;N
     
  2. DTQ

    DTQ c8h10n4o2 me

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    I don't understand your sense of humor.
     

  3. Mighty HD

    Mighty HD Got Wax?

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    hahaah

    So they're looking for a Yob?
     
  4. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    That hurts my brain to read.
     
  5. fastvfr

    fastvfr Ancient Tech

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    Yeah, same here.

    Fush you, Mang!

    [​IMG]
     
  6. GlockChuck23

    GlockChuck23

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    Oh never mind....not worth the effort.
     
  7. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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  8. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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  9. SomeDay

    SomeDay

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    Haven't laughed that hard in a while!