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Proper Rules of Etiquette

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Hank Hill, Mar 15, 2003.

  1. Hank Hill

    Hank Hill

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    I posted this over in the Political Issues forum, but I thought I'd put it up here also.

    [From the Marines at MATCA]

    With all of this talk of impending war, many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try and convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support terror.

    These activists may be alone or in a gathering . . . . . most of us don't know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:

    1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.

    2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them in the nose.

    3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.

    4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a non-violent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.

    5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct.

    6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.

    7. Repeat steps 2-6 until the desired results are obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is making.

    8. There is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at a high cost.

    We owe our military a huge debt for what they are about to do for us and our children. We must support them and our leaders at times like these. We have no choice. We either strike back, VERY HARD, or we will keep getting hit in the nose.
    Lesson over, class dismissed
     
  2. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Man ain't that the truth;+ ;Y
     

  3. esse

    esse

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    Hank
    I will try to follow your detailed instructions. I'm not a smart man and I have trouble following instructions. I fell I will need to practice this guideline on multiple activist to get it correct.
    Can you purhaps enlighten me on the protocal for proper etiquette concerning my practicing these rules? How many activist should I practice on before I comit to properly executing these guidelines.
    I will be grateful for any guidence you may be able to give me.
    Thanks
     
  4. David_G17

    David_G17 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

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    is it okay to skip the first rule if we're in a hurry?
     
  5. Hank Hill

    Hank Hill

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    No. If you don't take each step in order, the lesson won't be as effective.
     
  6. kodiak99

    kodiak99 ...and...death

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    I would love to try this!

    Unfortunately the candy-*****es would probably run and cry to the police and you'd end up in cuffs...

    Would almost be worth it though... Hmmm.
     
  7. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt

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    Gee, I am the Police and often have to deal with these demonstators. can I kick theis asses? Please?