I'm Joe Friday, private eye. I work on Tuesday, Tuesday's my secretary. Yesterday I was working in my New York office when there was a knock at the door, scared me half out of my secretary. Then a tall blonde walked by, I knew she was tall 'cause we were on the 7th floor. The phone rang. It was a client. I knew something was wrong because she told me there was. I raced down the stairs, called a taxi, the taxi stopped with a jerk, the jerk got out and I got in. We took the corner at 80 miles an hour. A cop stopped us and told us to put it back. Then we were driving on the sidewalk because there was a sign that said "keep deaths off the roads." We were getting further out of the city. I knew this because we weren't hitting so many pedestrians. When I got to my client's house she greeted me with a burning kiss. Then she took her cigarette out and kissed me again. There was a man on the floor. He had bullet wounds to the head and stab wounds to the heart. He was dead so we went for a drive in the country. Then a brick came through the window, hit her on the left tit and broke four of my fingers. We got a flat tire. She pumped and I pumped, she pumped and I pumped. Then we got out and fixed the tire. When we got back to my clients house she invited me in for a root beer. The root was nice but the beer was flat. I was giving her a goodnight kiss but she closed her legs and broke my glasses.