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Poor Guy!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ERASER, Nov 16, 2003.

  1. ERASER

    ERASER Nyuk,Nyuk,Nyuk!

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    Jan 23, 2000
    Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
    "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
    "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guiness brewery..."
    "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
    "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
    Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
    "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guiness Stout and drowned."
    "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
    "Well, Brenda... no."
    "No?"
    "Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
     
  2. Guest

    One of my Irish friends told me this one...

    Sean and Mick were sitting at the bar drinking. Sean knocked back his ale then said to Mick, "Mick, you know, 'cept me mother and me sister, Ive 'ad me every woman in this town."
    Mick knocks the rest of his ale back and then replies, "Well then, 'tween you and me, we got em all!"

    Another one

    As church was letting out, Mary walked up to the Priest, and said, "Father, I would like you to pray for me husband O'Connels soul. He died last night."
    "Ah! Did he know! That is right sad to hear." The good Father replied."But tell me Mary, did he have any last words?"
    "Yes, he did."
    "Well, what did he say?"
    "He said 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'"


    One More...

    An Irish gentlmen gets pulled over for driving erraticaly and speeding. The Cop walks up the window, takes one look at the man, and asks, "Ah lad, been to the pub now have we?"
    The man drunkenly replies "Ah yup, that I did."
    "Di' ya not know that yer wife fell out of the car a mile back then?" Asked the cop.
    "Oh thank goodness! I thought for a while Id gone deaf!" ;)