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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Dec 2, 2002.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sep 10, 2001
    I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's one called brightness, but it doesn't work.

    A young mother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

    At first I thought that my life was going around in circles. Then I realized it's actually a downward spiral.

    "I want to die before my wife. The reason is: If it is true that when you die, your soul goes up to judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things." --Bill Cosby

    You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you.

    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

    Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

    Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

    Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

    In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

    I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

    A day without sunshine is like night.

    The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

    Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

    You don't stop laughing because you grow old,you grow old because you stopped laughing.

    Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.