[pesticidal]

There was this old Indian chief, who was in charge of naming all of the children who were born in the tribe.

One day a young brave came to the old chief and asked "How do you name the children who are born, how do you think of all of the different names to name them?".

The old Indian chief said "When young brave is born and hawk is flying over, that baby shall be named Hawk Flying Over. When young brave is born and snow is gently falling, that baby shall be named Snow Gently Falling".

The old Indian chief sits up, and looks the young brave in the eye and says "So tell me, Two Dogs ****ing, why do you ask?"

 

[pesticidal]

Q: What's the difference between a pot of lobsters and a group of Japanese tourists who've just been run over by a steamroller?


A: There's no difference, they're all crustaceans

 

[pesticidal]

Q: What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"?
A: A Chinese prostitute.

 

[pesticidal]

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
A: No idea; but it can sure pick lettuce.

 

[pesticidal]

Q: What do you call a Jewish homosexual?
A: A He-blew.

 

[pesticidal]

Poof goes to see a doctor: "Doctor, doctor, I've got AIDS! Can you do anything for me?".
Doctor says: "Certainly," gets out his prescription pad and starts writing, "here's a prescription for some castor oil and heavy-duty liquid laxatives; take half a quart of each, every morning for the next two weeks".
Poof asks: "Will this cure me of AIDS?".
Doctor: "No, but after this, you'll know what your ass was designed for".

 

[pesticidal]

Did you hear about the Pollock who had a penis transplant?
His hand rejected it.

 

[pesticidal]

"Dad," asked the kid, "can I have five dollars to buy a guinea pig?"
"Here's ten dollars, son. Go find yourself a nice Polish girl."

 

[pesticidal]

Three men, an Italian, a Jew, and a Greek, are crossing the road, when a bus runs them all over, killing them instantly. They appear before Saint Peter, who prepares to let them into Heaven.
The three plead and beg to be allowed to go back, as they're only young and haven't led full lives. Eventually Saint Peter relents and lets them go back to earth - on the one condition that they give up the one thing that each of them wants most of all in life, not even to attempt to attain it.
BANG!! They're back in the same street they came from, all a bit shocked by the experience.
Within a few minutes, they're passing by a pizza shop. The Italian can't help himself, he runs in, and just as he's about to take a bite of pizza, BANG!!, the Italian disappears - he's gone back to Heaven.
The other two are quite shocked by this, but then continue on walking. Just then, a dollar coin rolls across the footpath in front of the two men. The Jew can't help himself, he bends over, and just as he's about to pick up the coin, BANG!!, the Greek disappears.

 

[pesticidal]

I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer.

 

[pesticidal]

2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.

'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!'

'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My Wife's an epileptic'

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs

on your living room wall?






ART

 

[Eyescream]

"Dad," asked the kid, "can I have five dollars to buy a guinea pig?"
"Here's ten dollars, son. Go find yourself a nice Polish girl."

:rofl:

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs


on two wheels?



AXEL

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs

in your mailbox?



BILL

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs

in a porn flick?


DICK

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs

with a history of wheelchair collisions?


REX

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a man with no arms or no legs


who has been struck by lightning?

ROD

 

[pesticidal]

Whats the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest?



Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years of age.

 

[pesticidal]

What do you call a lesbian with big fingers?



Well hung