"Politically Correct Statements for the New Century"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by MB-G26, May 30, 2002.

  1. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Extraneous Lifetime Member

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    Oct 9, 2001
    Cell Block H
    *Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

    *Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

    *You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

    *You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

    *No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

    *You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

    *You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

    *It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."


    *The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

    *No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

    *You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

    *These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

    *Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

    *Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

    *You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

    *You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

    *You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

    *You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
    Via Langalist, from the Internet At Large......