close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Political Affiliation Test

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Hickeroar, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. Hickeroar

    Hickeroar Glock 26 HoDown

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2005
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    3
    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by your answer to the following:

    Situation: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber auto, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    Democrat's Answer:

    - Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    - Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    - Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    - Could we run away?
    - What does my wife think?
    - What about the kids?
    - Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    - What does the law say about this situation?
    - Does the Glock have appropriate safety mechanisms built into it?
    - Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    - Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    - Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    - If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    - Should I call 9-1-1?
    - Why is this street so deserted?
    - We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    - This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


    Republican's Answer:

    - BANG!


    Southern Republican's Answer:

    - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click (sounds of reloading)
    - BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
    - Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
    - Son: Git-r-Dun, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?
    - Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
     
  2. ndbullet500

    ndbullet500 Unmutual

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    6 Private
    Yeah right.

    Indiana Democrat: Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang....darn it, left the 8 round Wilson Combat Mag at home, but that looks like it did the trick. Pick up Venti Latte carefully sat down with left hand while drawing weapon with right, and take a well deserved sip. ;V

    No offense but shouldn't this be posted in Political Issues forum?
     

  3. Hickeroar

    Hickeroar Glock 26 HoDown

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2005
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    3
    Eh. It's got firearms in it so this forum applies.

    Not to mention it's not about political ISSUES. It's a joke.
     
  4. Johnnyvegas

    Johnnyvegas

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2002
    Messages:
    319
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho Panhandle

    This looks an awful lot like Glocktalk..........How come that post resembles something you'd read over at AR-15.com?

    My $.02

    John
     
  5. ndbullet500

    ndbullet500 Unmutual

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    6 Private
    Yeah, Ha Ha.

    Repubicans are coward who get five draft deferments then shoot their friends. Ha ha.

    Republicans hate Muslims and leading Repubican commentators like Ann Coulter refer to muslims as "*******s." Ha ha.

    Repubicans get out of active military service during times of war then don't even bother to fulfil their guard requirements. Ha ha.

    Republicans hate an educated populace so they cut billions from student loan programs while seeking huge tax cuts for wealthy Americans. Ha ha.

    Repubicans don't care about the Constitution so they support a dictatoral executive branch that claims it is willing to consider laws passed by Congress. Ha ha.

    Republicans are so corrupt that the house majority leader had to step down after repeated ethics violations. Ha ha.

    Repulicans are so dumb that they make jokes that Democrats are such politically correct cowards that they would watch their families die at the hands of terrorists instead of taking action. Ha ha.

    Vice-President Cheney shot a fellow hunter with a gun, so this is clearly gun related.
     
  6. hokieglock

    hokieglock Proud Infidel

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,590
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    rommel,reina and samson's den

    yep, ignorance is bliss!!;z ;z
     
  7. hokieglock

    hokieglock Proud Infidel

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,590
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    rommel,reina and samson's den
    btw-i'm a southern republican;j
     
  8. vafish

    vafish

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2003
    Messages:
    16,544
    Likes Received:
    43
    Location:
    Commonwealth of Virginia
    But Jokes belong down in the "Lighter Side"
     
  9. Hickeroar

    Hickeroar Glock 26 HoDown

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2005
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    3
    May i have examples of all these strange things you're claiming? I bet you for every one, we could come up with at least 10 dems doing worse things.

    What makes you think that a) Ann Coulter is any sort of "leader" and b) that she's not exactly right anyway?

    And what does cheney have to do with it? None of the points you mentioned had anything to do with him...not that that surprises me. Learn to use your brain instead of your hormones.

    As I always say: Democrats are always engaged in a one sided war of words. As usual they've passed legislation against using anything but blanks.

    EDIT: Might I also ask in defense to your last "rebuttal": How exactly do you see yourself defending your family against the aforementioned terrorist when you aren't carrying a weapon? You think there's anything you could do to stop this guy? Please elaborate on the "action" that you might take in the following 5 seconds that could save the life of you and your family. If most of the democrats in congress had their way there would be no concealed carry and crime rates would rise like crazy...as they historically have after such measures have passed.
     
  10. ndbullet500

    ndbullet500 Unmutual

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    6 Private
    I for one, unlike Ann Coulter at the 33rd Annual Conservative Political Action Conference, do not believe that all people of a particular ethnic group or race should be insulted with Ethnic slurs. So if you think that is "right" so be it. As for Coulter's status as a leader within the Conservative Republican movement, exhibit one is that she is a frequent "Conservative Commentator" on Fox News, exhibit two is that along with Wayne LaPierre (and yes I am an NRA member), Ken Mehlman, Bob Novak, Bill Frist, she was given the stage that the aforementioned Conference.

    As for what Cheney has to do with the above, he was the one with the multiple draft deferments during Vietnam. But then again, in his words, at the time he, "...had other priorities."

    Thank you for your concern about my hormonal levels. When you are able to think critically about the values of the leaders of the party you seem to blindly endorse, your comments may actually have some value.

    I have no intention of remaining quiet while you insult members of this board, like myself, who have different political beliefs than you. Despite your "joke", I know many people both Democrat and Republican who are brave and patriotic, and I sure as heck don't concede that YOU and your kind have any superior claim to courage or the US flag. I am on the "Non-Glock Firearms" board to discuss non-Glock firearms, not for "jokes" about the tens of millions of Americans whose views differ from your narrow world view.

    That is why I, politely in my opinion, suggested this was more approprate for another forum.
     
  11. ndbullet500

    ndbullet500 Unmutual

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    6 Private
    Well, for one I would choose between the Beretta 21A or the Taurus PT92 that I regularly carry, or perhaps the 1911 that I am starting to carry as I modify it more to my likings. Once again you are trying to paint Democrats as anti-gun wimps, and the fact is that is not true. Why not check out our NRAs rating of Howard Dean, the Democratic Party Chair. Pretty high, no? There are certainly some Democrats that are anti-gun, but that is hardly a hot topic among any Democrat that I know.
     
  12. crazymoose

    crazymoose Nonentity

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    4,472
    Likes Received:
    83
    Republican Answer: Bang! Bang! Look around sheepishly as you realize you actually just shot a Pakistani cab driver who was yelling at the guy who backed into his cab. Who can blame you, though; as a Republican, you can't be expected to be able to know one middle-easterner from another.

    Example: We're attacked by Saudis operating out of Afghanistan. The president invades Iraq.

    ;f
     
  13. crazymoose

    crazymoose Nonentity

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2005
    Messages:
    4,472
    Likes Received:
    83

    In seriousness, though, this is why you should plan on being able to do more than just shoot in self-defense. A guy close to you with a knife is either going to kill you before you get your gun out, or mortally wound you before you draw and kill him, too. This is a good reason to learn some martial arts so you can (with any luck) try to defend yourself/disarm the guy.
     
  14. ranburr1

    ranburr1

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2005
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    TX
    Well, I thought it was funny.:cool:

    ranburr
    "Southern Republican until something more conservative comes along".
     
  15. Hesparus

    Hesparus

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2004
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Mexico
    *applause*
    +1 from another gun-loving democrat. I love that Howard Dean is the chairman, but it upsets me that it means he won't be on the ballot in '08.

    - Chris
     
  16. epsylum

    epsylum Boolit Hoze

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
    3,868
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Racing Capital, USA
    Where does this leave conservative leaning libertarians like myself?

    ;f

    edited to add:
    Personally, I don't think Dems can talk about Bush and Cheney's Veitnam record when they elect Clinton.

    also

    FDR had a hard time figuring out the difference between Germans and Japanese. The Japanese attack us and the majority of our focus of WWII is on Germany.

    hmmm. sounds familiar.
     
  17. Tim84K10

    Tim84K10

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2004
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Behind Enemy Lines
    There is no such thing as a conservative leaning libertarian!
     
  18. mitchshrader

    mitchshrader Deceased

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Messages:
    8,672
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Tulsa
    fascists " liberals " .. and thieves "conservatives" ..

    pardon me i don't agree with your definitions, nomenclature, or presumption that anyone can be represented..

    the which they can Not.

    unless of course it's my wife representing me, and then i go along with whatever she says.

    BUT.. i hesitate to mention it..

    the government is a little more expensive than my wife..

    and a lot rougher with their romantic attentions.
     
  19. epsylum

    epsylum Boolit Hoze

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
    3,868
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Racing Capital, USA
    okay make that a libertarian that believes in strong national defense, not the bury our head in the sand that is the official party line.

    Other that that one point, I am a libertarian.

    I even took the political quiz and it said I was a consevative libertarian. I must agree. ;)

    http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html
     
  20. opus x

    opus x

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2005
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ohio
    Hey I too love that howard dean is the dnc because he helped out so much the during the last election. I hope al snore helps out too.:joker: