Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

police officers comments

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 18, 2006.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    15 best police officers comments.

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    #14 "You take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

    #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you ! are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

    And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. . Sign here.
  2. Sharker


    Likes Received:
    May 20, 2002
    Jacksonville, Florida
    This is kinda off topic, but a cop pulled over my coworker and told her that her Drivers License wasnt any it didnt have her phone number on it.
    I thought that was funny.

  3. ARs&AKs

    ARs&AKs NRA Life Member

    Likes Received:
    Sep 7, 2002