close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

"Police Funnies"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 10, 2002.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    Messages:
    26,027
    Likes Received:
    5,496
    Joined:
    May 24, 2000
    Location:
    Beaumont,Texas
    "Police Funnies"

    CAUGHT FOR SPEEDING:
    _The cop got out of his car and the kid, who
    was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
    _"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
    said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
    _When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
    the kid on his way without a ticket.

    STUCK UNDER A BRIDGE
    ____ A truck driver was driving along on the
    freeway._ A sign came up that read,
    "Low Bridge Ahead."_ Before he knew it, the
    bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under it.
    __Cars were backed up for miles._ Finally a
    police car arrived. The cop got out of his car and walked around
    to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said,
    "Got stuck, huh?" The driver said,
    "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    THANK GOODNESS:
    ___ The drunken wino was stumbling down the street
    with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
    _A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take
    you in, sir.You're obviously drunk."
    _The wasted wino asked, Ociffer, are ya
    absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
    _"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," answered the cop.
    "Let's go." Obviously relieved, the wino said,
    "That's a relief._ I thought I was a cripple."

    DEALING WITH TROUBLE:
    ____ A deputy police officer responded to a report
    of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six
    feet tall and weighed 300 pounds._ What's more, he boasted that he could whip
    the deputy and Muhammad Ali at the same time.
    The policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist --
    probably better than Houdini."
    The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued,
    "you could show us how strong you really are._ But all I've got is a set
    of handcuffs._ Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of
    them?" Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and
    jerked for four minutes.
    "I can't get out of these," he growled.
    "Are you sure?" the deputy asked.
    _The fellow tried again._ "Nope, I can't do it."
    _"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

    CLOSING TIME:
    ____ The man was in no shape to drive so he wisely
    left his car parked and walked home._ As he was walking unsteadily along,
    he was stopped by a policeman.
    "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said
    the officer."I'm going to a lecture," the man answered.
    "And who is going to give a lecture at this
    hour?" asked the cop.
    "My wife," replied the man.


    ;N
     
  2. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

    Messages:
    26,027
    Likes Received:
    5,496
    Joined:
    May 24, 2000
    Location:
    Beaumont,Texas
    Any officers want to add any funny situations, please feel free.......

    ;N
     

  3. Copzilla55

    Copzilla55

    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2000
    Location:
    West Jordan, UTAH
    I don't have any right now, but man, those sure were funny. Thanks. [​IMG]
     
  4. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

    Messages:
    5,094
    Likes Received:
    36
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2002
    Location:
    State of Confusion
    Those were great Glockdude1. I'm going to share with my friends. Thanks, Eddie.