Police Dept's Office Answering Machine

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jul 5, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Likes Received:
    Aug 20, 2002
    Hello, you have reached the Police Dept's Voice Mail. Pay close
    attention as we have to update the choices often as new and usual
    circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:

    To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem that you
    created yourself, press 1.

    To inquire as to whether someone has to die before we'll do
    something about a problem, press 2.

    To report an officer for bad manners, when in reality the officer
    is trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.

    If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

    If you would like us to take control of your life due to your
    chemical dependency or alcohol, press 5.

    If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation
    that took years to deteriorate, press 6.

    To provide a list of officers you personally know so we will not
    take enforcement action against you, press 7.

    To sue us, or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our
    badge, or to proclaim our career is over, press 8.

    To whine about a ticket and/or complain about the many other uses
    for police rather than keeping your dumb *** in line, press 9.

    Please note your call may be monitored to assure proper customer
    support and remember.....we're here to save your ***,
    NOT kiss it!

    Thanks for calling your local police dept. and have a nice day.
  2. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.

  3. Clyde in CO

    Clyde in CO LOL WUT?

    Likes Received:
    Aug 7, 2002
    the Springs
    Thank you for calling the police department. All officers are busy writing tickets to generate income for the city government. Please leave a message and we will call you back later, if you're not dead. Have a nice day!