TOP TEN SIGNS THE POLICE CHIEF DOESN'T LIKE YOU: 1) He refers to you as "our mascot." 2) Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol. 3) Your locker is also the broom closet. 4) The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject." 5) He sends you on drug raids - alone. 6) He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up. 7) He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them. 8) You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner. 9) He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia. 10) He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.