Point System

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Aug 26, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Location:
    Summit, MS
    I saw this on another site!!!

    Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she
    dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's how the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:

    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed..............................................+1
    You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows................ 0
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..................-1
    You leave the toilet seat up................................-5
    You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.......... 0
    When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
    When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom........-2

    You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
    in the snow.......................................+8
    but return with beer................................-5
    and no liners....................................-25

    You check out a suspicious noise at night......0
    You check out a suspicious noise at night and it is nothing ............. 0
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something....... +5
    You pummel it with a six iron............................ +10
    It's her cat........................................ -40

    AT THE PARTY
    You stay by her side the entire party.......................0
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.......................................-2
    Named Tiffany..............................................-4
    Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10
    With implants............................................-18

    HER BIRTHDAY
    You remember her birthday...................................0
    You buy a card and flowers....................................0
    You take her out to dinner..................................... 0
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.........+1
    Okay, it is a sports bar.....................................-2
    And it's all-you-can-eat night..............................-3
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.........-10

    A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
    Go with a pal................................................0
    The pal is happily married....................................+1
    The pal is single............................................-7
    He drives a Ferrari........................................-10
    With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).............-15

    A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
    You take her to a movie......................................+2
    You take her to a movie she likes.........................+4
    You take her to a movie you hate........................+6
    You take her to a movie you like.............................-2
    It's called Death Cop3......................................-3
    Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.......................-9
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-15

    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable pot belly.........................-15
    You develop a pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.........+10
    You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.................-30
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one, too."..........-800

    THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
    You hesitate in responding................................-10
    You reply, "Where?".........................................-35
    You reply, "no, I think it's your butt"....................-100
    Any other response...................................-20

    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem:
    You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................0
    You listen, for over 30 minutes..............................+5
    You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
    You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do"...............-50
    You listen more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.........+100
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep.........-200

    ;a