Apologies to those who have heard this already (gun-related, sort of) : A blonde persuaded her husband to let her come along on his hunting trip. When they were deep in the woods, he collapsed. She took out her cellphone and dialed 911. "I think my husband is dead," she said. "What should I do?" The operator said, "Calm down. First let's make sure he's dead." The operator heard a gunshot. Then the blonde got back on the phone and said, "Okay. Now what?"