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Places To Live

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Oct 25, 2005.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    Likes Received:
    Sep 10, 2001
    You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where...

    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. :)

    2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

    3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

    4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

    5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

    6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.

    7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

    8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

    9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

    You can Live in California where...

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

    2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

    3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

    4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

    5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

    6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You can Live in New York City where...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

    2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

    3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    4 You think Central Park is "nature."

    5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

    6. You've worn out a car horn.

    7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You can Live in Maine where...

    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

    5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    You can Live in the Deep South where...

    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

    2."y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

    3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"

    4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

    You can live in Colorado where...

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

    2... You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

    4... The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You can live in the Midwest where...

    1. You've never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    AND You can live in Florida where...

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
  2. milkdud


    Likes Received:
    Aug 7, 2003
    NW Florida
    AND You can live in Florida where...

    6. You have three relatives named after hurricanes.

    7. Zoning laws in NW Florida have little meaning with homes built next door to mini-storage facilities.

    8. Few people know that NW Florida is actually in the Central Daylight Time zone.

    9. Those people in South Florida ain't really from around heah either.

  3. Mathurian

    Mathurian Joyous Reaper

    Likes Received:
    Apr 9, 2002
    You can live in Michigan (which I do) if:

    You give directions by pointing at the back of your hand

    Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March

    You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching

    You know several people who have hit deer more than once

    You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them

    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow

    Down South to you means Illinois

    You drink pop and bake with soda

    You know that UP is a place not a direction

    You know what a Yooper is

    You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest