Piano Player

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 6, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    He was a ragged old man who shuffled into a waterfront bar that
    afternoon. Stinking of whisky and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took
    the "Piano Player wanted sign from the window and handed it to the
    bartender I'd like to apply for the job," he said The barkeep wasn't too
    sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite awhile
    since he had a piano player, and business was falling off.

    "What do you do ?" he asked. "Im retired.' was the answer. "as a matter of fact 'Im a retired Navy Chief Petty Officer, but since I retired I've done
    nothing but drink. chase broads and play the piano. Now really unsure,
    the barkeep decided to give him try...he really needed more business
    "The piano is over there....give it a go." The old man staggered his way
    over to the piano and several patrons snickered. But, by the time he was
    into the third bar of music. every voice was silenced. What followed was
    a rhapsody of sound and music, unlike anyone had heard in the bar

    When he finished ther wasn't a dry eye in the place. The
    barktender bought the old sailor a beer and told him he really, really
    sounded good. What do you call that song?" he asked the old sailor.
    "I'ts called drop your skivies, Baby, We're Gonna Rock Tonight', said
    the old chief as he took a long pull from the beer. The crowd winced
    along with the bartender, but the piano player went on."I've got
    another,"...and he began to play again.

    What followed was a knee-slapping,' hand-clapping' bit of ragtime that had the placejumping. People were coming in from the street to hear this guy play.After he finished, the Chief acknowledged the applause and told the
    crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Anchor Chain Run Out."

    He then excused himself as he lurched off to the men's room. After thinking
    a bit the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad he looked
    or what his songs were called. When the guy came out of the men's room,
    the bartender went over to tell him he had the job.

    But then he noticedthe old man's fly was undone and his unit was hanging out. He said,"look Chief, the job is yours, but first I gotta ask, do you know your fly is open and your thing is hanging out?" "Know it?" the old Chief replied, "Hell, I wrote it!