Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 12, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    A man goes into a pet shop that advertises "unusual pets" and tells
    the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

    The owner says, "How about Phil, the dog?" The man replies, "Come on,
    a dog can't do everything."

    The owner says, "How about Miriam, the cat?" The man replies, "No way!
    A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do
    everything, damn it!"

    The owner thinks for a minute. Then says, "I've got it! ... Charlie,
    the centipede! HE can do everything. But it will cost you."

    The man says, "Charlie, the centipede? ... I can't imagine a centipede
    doing everything but ... okay, if you guarantee he can do everything
    ... I'll try a centipede."

    He gets the centipede home and says, "Charlie, clean the kitchen."

    Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate.
    All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away.
    The countertops cleaned. The appliances sparkling. The floor waxed.
    He's absolutely amazed.

    He says to the centipede, "Charlie, go clean the living room."

    Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has
    been vacuumed. The furniture cleaned and dusted. The pillows on the
    sofa plumped. Plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the
    most amazing thing I've ever seen. This is a pet that really can do

    He sits down to watch a little TV, turns to the centipede and says,
    "Charlie, run down to the corner and get me a newspaper, please."

    The centipede leaves. 10 minutes later ... no Charlie. 20 minutes
    later ... no Charlie. 30 minutes later ... no Charlie.

    The man is wondering what's going on. The darn centipede should have
    been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later ... still no

    The man can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run
    away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is Charlie?

    He goes to the front door, opens it ... and there's Charlie sitting
    right outside the door. The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you out 45
    minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's
    the story?!"

    The centipede says, angrily, "Hey, man, cut me some slack here, will
    ya? I'm still putting on my shoes!"