PC version of "Happy Holidays"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Egyas, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. Egyas

    Egyas Troll Hater

    Likes Received:
    Jul 29, 2002
    People's Republik of Daleystan
    One of my coworlers sent this to me today. LOL!

    Happy Holidays *

    * Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wish for an
    environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct,
    non-addictive, low stress, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
    holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
    persuasion of your choice, as well as the secular practices of your choice,
    but with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
    traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
    traditions at all.

    And further, please accept my wish for a fiscally successful, personally
    fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
    generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the
    calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to our diverse
    society has helped make this country great (not to imply that USA is
    necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to the race,
    creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, veteran status or
    sexual orientation of the wisher, wishee or their third party

    These wishes are limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a
    period of approximately one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent
    holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

    Use of the term "Holiday" herein is not intended to, nor shall it be
    considered to be, limited to Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances,
    nor to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community group,
    individual or belief (or lack thereof). In particular, the word "holiday" is
    used herein without reference to its etymology.

    Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
    greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable ab
    initio at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or
    for no reason.

    This greeting is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to
    the original greeting text. Any transfer is to be at the risk of the
    transferor who, by making such transfer, thereby agrees to hold the wishee
    harmless from any and all adverse consequences resulting from such transfer.

    This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually take any action
    or fail to take any action to implement any of the wishes for the wishee
    her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may
    arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

    This greeting is void where prohibited by law, custom or policy and is
    offered irrespective of any card, hard copy greeting or embarrassing
    self-indulgent letter summarizing achievements in 2004, however mendacious,
    which may or may not have been purveyed by myself or any member of my
    extended family.

    Best (sorry, reasonably endeavored) Wishes.