Patawang Konti Bago Mag Holy Week

Discussion in 'Band of Glockers' started by charlie-xray, Mar 31, 2007.

  1. charlie-xray

    charlie-xray Guest

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    “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
    ~ Jack Handy

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

    “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ”
    ~Frank Sinatra

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
    “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
    ~ Henny Youngman

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

    “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
    ~ Stephen Wright

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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    “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
    When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
    ~ Brian O’Rourke

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

    “Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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    “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is wine. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
    ~ Dave Barry

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

    To some ! it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
    Here’s how it went:
    “Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
     
  2. emac

    emac

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    let us not forget...kasama sa ipinaglalaban ni Ducat ang lahat ng mga manginginom....kayat atin siyang ipagtanggol!:rofl: :tongueout: :laughabove: :animlol: :banana:
     

  3. nrmcolt

    nrmcolt What?

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    Sniffer

    A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to takeoff when another man with a Labrador Retriever occupies the two empty seats beside him.

    The Lab is situated in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

    The airline rep says, "Don't mind Sniffer; he's a sniffing dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work." The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Sniffer, search."

    Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm.

    He says, "Good boy." The airline rep turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and her seat number for the police who will apprehend her on arrival."

    "Fantastic!" replies the first man.

    Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler's arm.

    The airline rep says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this and the seat number."

    "I like it!" says the first man.

    A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the aisle and the seat.

    The first man is really grossed out by this behavior from a supposedly well trained sniffing dog and asks, "What the hell is going on with this stupid dog?"

    The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb!"
    :dog: :supergrin:
     
  4. isuzu

    isuzu

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    PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?
    JUAN: Pata!
    PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?
    JUAN; PATA galan ng kwento!

    ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
    1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
    2. Rats are normal house pets.
    3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
    4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the
    entertainment!


    ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
    HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
    JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
    RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
    JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
    MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
    AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
    GMA: half...

    TATAY: Bagsak ka na naman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro?
    Palaging may honor.
    ANAK:Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
    TATAY: Bakit naman?
    ANAK: Matalino tatay nun!

    A song for our Honorable (DAW!) na Congressmen and Senators,Mayors and Governors:

    "BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
    BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
    KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
    BOOM BOOM BOOM!"

    MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:

    PRESIDENT- pasimuno.
    VICE PRESIDENT- kunsitidor.
    SECRETARY- palsipikador.
    TREASURER- kubrador.
    AUDITOR- kasabwat.
    PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER- tsismoso.
    REPRESENTATIVES- pahamak.
    SPOKESMAN- bolero.
    SGT-AT-ARMS- tirador.
    ADVISER- taga sulsol.
    (mas tama di bah?)

    PILITA CORRALES - Asia 's Queen of Song.
    LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
    REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
    GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia"

    Have a nice day!
     
  5. charlie-xray

    charlie-xray Guest

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    BEST EXPLANATION EVER!

    This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and

    suffering that I have seen: A man went to a barbershop to have his
    hair

    cut and his beard trimmed.

    As the barber began to work, they began to have a good

    conversation.

    They talked about so many things and various subjects.

    When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the

    barber said:



    "I don't believe that God exists."

    "Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go

    out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.

    Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?

    Would there be abandoned children?

    If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.

    I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these

    things."

    The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond

    because he didn't want to start an argument.

    The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

    Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the

    street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed

    beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

    The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again

    and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not

    exist."

    "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

    "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

    "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because

    if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair

    and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."



    "Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people

    do not come to me."

    "Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES

    exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look

    to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the

    world."

    If you think God exists, send this to other people--- If

    you think God does not exist, delete it!



    BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!!!:thumbsup:
     
  6. mikey177

    mikey177 Remember

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    Speaking of Holy Week... if any of you guys are traveling up north for the weekend, I'm inviting you to La Pia Taza Cafe, a new coffee shop in Urdaneta City that my friends and I recently opened.

    The cafe is located in front of Urdaneta Villas, on the right side of MacArthur Highway, right before the Urdaneta City welcome arch (if you're coming from Carmen).

    The view in the photo below is the one that motorists coming from Baguio see.

    [​IMG]

    Aside from coffee and cakes, the cafe also serves Italian and Japanese dishes. I hope to see you guys there someday :)
     
  7. magsasaka

    magsasaka

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    congrats sir mikey, hope i can dropby sometime, tagal ko na di nakakatikim ng sashimi eh:)
    regards...
     
  8. G19cPH

    G19cPH

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    +1:thumbsup: Just got home from baguio this afternoon unfortunately did not have time to stopver probably nextime...:)
     
  9. mikey177

    mikey177 Remember

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    Thanks, guys.

    Let me know when you guys are passing by so I can give you a discount :)