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Parent's Dictionary

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Jul 9, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

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    Parent's Dictionary of Meanings

    DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

    FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate
    the strained carrots.

    FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

    GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful
    even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

    HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

    INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they
    do everything we say.

    OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

    PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
    wearing dry shoes into it.

    SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

    STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by
    boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on
    it and wiping it with saliva.

    TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

    TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins
    to make those familiar grunting noises.

    VERBAL: able to whine in words

    WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house