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Out of the mouths of jocks

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Gunrnr, Nov 21, 2002.

  1. Gunrnr

    Gunrnr Senior Goofoff Millennium Member

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    Oct 31, 1999
    Location:
    Land of Enchantment
    "WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS"

    Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
    model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to
    me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

    New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the
    upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards,
    whichever comes first."

    And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say "I'd run
    over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of
    the Raiders said "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
    Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
    John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear
    earrings."

    Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
    1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
    genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

    Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
    "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it
    takes."

    Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
    line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up
    in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

    Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
    with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to
    come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not
    Princeton."

    Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
    regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets
    up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time
    it is."

    Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
    explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at
    practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know
    if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

    Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I
    told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or
    apathy?' He said, "'Coach, I don't know and I don't
    care.'"

    Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
    what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
    "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on
    one subject."

    Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when
    asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road
    trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly
    to kiss good-bye".