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Out of the mouths of babes!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Blitzer, Sep 12, 2006.

  1. Blitzer

    Blitzer Cool Cat

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    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Location:
    The communist's play ground of OHIO
    These have to be original and genuine - no adult is this creative!!



    1. JACK (age 3 ) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby
    sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot
    and one for cold milk?"



    2. MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied
    she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
    remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six ."


    3. STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
    much, that when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom
    window."


    4. BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried
    in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
    explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes
    wide wit h wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?


    5. SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
    don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."


    6. DI (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do
    I cost?"


    7. MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
    kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his
    dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"


    8. CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom
    asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
    this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"


    9. JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The
    man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his
    wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked : "What
    happened to the flea?"


    10. TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
    wrinkled woman her Mom knew. looked at her for awhile and then asked,
    "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?


    11. The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... this particular
    Sunday sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward
    heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but
    dust."
    He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter
    (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her
    shrill little girl voice that many others could hear, "Mom, what is butt
    dust?" :thumbsup: :supergrin: :animlol: