Ordering pizza

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Dec 28, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.

    Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
    Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-xxxx. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-xxxx and your cell number's 266-xxxx. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
    Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
    Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
    Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?"
    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."
    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."
    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
    Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    How long will it take?"
    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
    Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.
    Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
    Customer: (Speechless)
    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
    Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."