ooof, that was a bad idea.

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BEER, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. BEER

    BEER bad example

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    since i suddenly found mysaelf single i have done a complete and total makeover of my fridge and pantry. all the tofu/soy milk type crap went into the trash and was replaced by real honest to god bachelor chow. hungryman xxl dinners, frozen corn dogs, big monster cans of wolf brand chili, coco pebbles, and animal parts i haven't even fully identified yet.you know, man food.

    oh and beer, lots and lots and lots of beer. (or as some of you lovable beer snobs like to refer to it, american **** water)

    i didn't eat lunch until around 4:30 so i had a couple of beers along with my bowl of wolf brand chili (no freakin beans) covered in bacon bits and shredded cheddar cheese. lunch was good and life went on in a pleasant yet somewhat smelly manner in the recently expanded man cave.

    around 7 i decided to watch blackhawk down, and as we all know you can't watch a good movie without fritos (the big scoop style) and a can of bean dipand tobasco sauce washed down with beer. the dog admitted defeat and headed outside for the night, but life continued on it's pleasant and now definitely odorous manner.

    at 10 i realized my nose was really starting to suffer so to numb it i decided to do a shot from the bottle of gentleman jack i found earlier. i hate to admit this but as tasty and smooth as g.j. is it's apparently some sort of satanic bowel cleansing catalyst.

    so the moral of the story kids is, don't do single shots of booze, just power through it and do at least 4 in a row so you'll be properly numbed for the hell you unwittingly unleash.

    p.s. does anybody know if hallmark makes a get well soon card for bathrooms?
     
  2. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    Bathrooms get over the abuse liquor and man food put them through. They're a little co-dependant and actually thrive when you spray them with hate.
     

  3. tbhracing

    tbhracing Senior Member

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    As long as you arent driving, I see nothing wrong here.
     
  4. Mrs. G26Duck

    Mrs. G26Duck

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    Glad to see you are on the road to relationship recovery, my friend! Just remember that, unfortunately, Monday does come and you have to re-enter the world who smells all! Just enjoy tomorrow!
     
  5. harleyfx69

    harleyfx69

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    eh ..

    be careful man,

    enjoy your week or two of "freedom" .. but then go back to a healthy lifestyle ,

    the crap you just mentioned is extremely unhealthy for you,

    the stuff you threw away is healthy .. and good for you
     
  6. mitchshrader

    mitchshrader Deceased

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    In case you get trapped into relationship counseling at some point, the proper meal to prepare for this event consists of fried cabbage, baked onions, red beans, sourdough bread, smoked brisket and homemade beer, with a pickled egg for dessert.
     
  7. mike253

    mike253 NRA - IWLA

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    If you're gonna curl up and die because some skank cheated on you, can I have your guns?
     
  8. Mellio

    Mellio

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  9. MO Fugga

    MO Fugga Malt Liqra® Lifetime Member

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    A little bird was flying over the midwest sometime in December. An ice storm rolled through, coated its little wings, and sent the poor fella crashing to the ol' terra firma. This sucks, the lil bird thinks. Crashed in a frozen meadow, and a thousand miles from Mexico, what could be worse? Along comes a bull, looks at the pathetic little bird, snorts loudly, and turns around takes a massive dump all over it. Great, just what I needed, the birdie thought. But, wait... this dung is... warming me up, and it ain't too thick! I bet I can fly outta here after I thaw out! After ten minutes wallowing in bull...., he realizes he is warm enough to fly. He sings as loudly as he can to God and the world. Along comes a cat, and with one swipe of the paw, brings his adventure to a screeching halt. So what's the moral of the story?

    Not everyone who dumps on you is your enemy.
    Not everyone who gets you out of it is your friend.
    And when you're in deep $***, keep your mouth shut.

    And you thought you had a crappy day....:rofl:
     
  10. GAFinch

    GAFinch

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    It's not the booze, just your body detoxing that tofu crap you've been forcefed until recently.
     
  11. BEER

    BEER bad example

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    no.

    1) i'm being buried with them all even if takes a box car to do it.

    2) i aint even close to either curling up or dieing either one, i am about to rise from the ashes like a mighty phoenix. i just hope this time dosen't involve a campfire and a literal rising from said fire. lol
     
  12. DrMaxit

    DrMaxit Dirtbag Airman

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    I agree with this, the beer is finally letting you flush all that tofu crap out of your system so you can absorb good man food like meat.
     
  13. Nestor

    Nestor Lean & Mean

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    Hey BEER - just drink more beer.
    For two more days.
    Then stop.
    All will be just fine.
     
  14. HKUSP45Css

    HKUSP45Css

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    Man card. Give it to me, now.

    You're so, very, fired.
     
  15. luckyrxc

    luckyrxc

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    :agree:
     
  16. snair

    snair

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  17. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Yum-O:eat:
     
  18. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Damn straight:rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  19. vikingsoftpaw

    vikingsoftpaw DEPLORABLE ME!

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    I don't understand about the shots, I prefer Wild Turkey though.....

    You need to take time to 'Clear the Decks' so to speak. A couple of months or so, given all you've been through- before searching for a proper marriageable woman.
     
  20. vikingsoftpaw

    vikingsoftpaw DEPLORABLE ME!

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    :yourock: :yourock: