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Flux Capacitor Technician
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Discussion Starter #1
So my wife’s grandma told the cable company to shove it after they jacked her rate for the third time in as many years. Good for her, and screw Mediacom!

Another family member got her an outdoor antenna so she can get locals and the wife asked if I would install it. Sure ok. I load up the ladder and basic tools and head over. My plan was to simply disconnect the cable feed from the pole and use the already installed cable in the house to feed the TVs.

I get there and she says she is getting all the locals just fine. A lot of the time even if you have no cable subscription you can get all the locals through the cable free. I explained that she didn’t need the antenna and all was well.

She then tries to pay me. I said she didn’t have to and of course she started arguing. I finally got her talked into just a cup of coffee.

So my question is why do older folks always try to pay? I have had this happen hundreds of times. I had elderly neighbors where I used to live and when it would snow I had to sneak over and shovel the walk quietly because if they caught me I would invariably have to stand there telling them it’s not necessary and to put the money away. Neighbors are supposed to take care of each other. They kept an eye on things when I was gone and I took care of snow and other stuff they couldn’t do but always they tried to pay.

Why is that? Is it because they are from a time when nothing was free? Is it because now days there just aren’t as many people willing to do something for free just because it needs done?

Fire away with your thoughts.
 

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I think it's their way to show their appreciation. They're not from the "gimme" generation Talking her into a cup of coffee was probably the best thing to do, that way she gets a little company for awhile.
 

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The underscore is silent
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Funny timing... my son (18) was just complaining that every time he goes by my parents house to visit or help with whatever my mom forces money on him. When he put his foot down and said he didn’t want to take it my dad caught him outside as he was leaving and told him it makes her happy and he should take the money as a sign of respect to her...

Background... my son doesn’t work. He wrestles at school and is in a HS police academy class that trains and does PT with city police academy cadets. He is always busy with a community police event, wrestling tournament, ride along, or a demo of the new digital training simulator (he is the go to kid for that thing)... he has enlisted in the Army as an MP (31 bravo!) and really lives the accountability and service mindset. He would help someone he didn’t like and refuse payment.

What’s funny is that my mom NEVER gave me $$$ growing up, and when I asked for it she and my dad told me to get a job! Now they freak out if he even mentions that he might work part time between graduation and boot camp...

How things change!
 

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With Liberty and Justice for all.
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It’s not just older folks, I insist on paying for everything when possible.

I don’t want any handouts.
It’s just the way the older generations were raised. No handouts and being self sufficient is important to us. Too bad the millennials didn’t learn this.
 

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Back to work...
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When he put his foot down and said he didn’t want to take it my dad caught him outside as he was leaving and told him it makes her happy and he should take the money as a sign of respect to her...
As a young man, I shared the same feeling: insisting on not receiving payment for something I wanted to do for others. Until one day, many years ago, I pastor told me that "allowing others to bless you is a blessing to them", and that I should give it a try sometime.

Another thought for the OP is the fact that the older I get, the more I realize how dependent on others' help I become: I'm not there yet, but I'm around quite a few older folk (church family), and I see them age, and become less able and independent each year. Most are quite aware of this reality, and are appreciative of any help offered, so whenever able, they want to show that appreciation in tangible ways, be it offering some money for services rendered, or over-thanking me for something little. For grandparents, I think it's also a way for them to encourage good behavior they see in their grandchildren, and a means to keep their relationship from going sour because of perceived slights.

I know my son has grumbled about having to help my paraplegic mother-in-law clean up her yard leaves in the Fall. As parents, we've told him that is something you just do for others in need, especially your family. My MIL, well-off financially, doesn't always reward him with money, so when I find out about it, I make a point of giving him some money for it, while explaining that is a blessing and he should not expect it every time, but that I appreciate the fact he did it for his grandma, and I would like to see more of that.

We don't give our kids allowances, and at 14 and not being able to get a job somewhere, we take every opportunity to give him a few dollars here and there, whenever he works outside his ordinary chores, or he goes above and beyond in effort.
 

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Flux Capacitor Technician
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Discussion Starter #13
It’s just the way the older generations were raised. No handouts and being self sufficient is important to us. Too bad the millennials didn’t learn this.
I understand the no handout and being self sufficient part but in a way it clashes with how I was raised.

I was raised that you help when needed before you are asked and you don’t do the right thing for a reward. You do the right thing because of just that - it’s the right thing.
 

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With Liberty and Justice for all.
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I understand the no handout and being self sufficient part but in a way it clashes with how I was raised.

I was raised that you help when needed before you are asked and you don’t do the right thing for a reward. You do the right thing because of just that - it’s the right thing.
They are really one in the same.
 

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I think there may be as many reasons as people you have had make the offer.
 

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I gift or tip everyone - garbagemen, mail persons, take-out restaurant cashiers, contractors, homeless, etc.
It acknowledges them, and let's them know you care and appreciate them.

My brother in law is a multimultimillionaire. On several occasions he has mentioned the day (many, many years ago) when one of his employees gave him $15 for his birthday.

Ain't about the money at all!:hugs:
 

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I don't want to feel obligated to anyone. I certainly don't mind helping others; but I don't want to accept help from others without reciprocating. At my age, I'm not always in a position to physically return a favor; so a monetary payment for services rendered is often the better response.

Yes....I am now officially an "older folk".
 
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