Old men in the shooting sports

A horse walks into a bar ...

 

with a Rabbi, a parrot and a monkey on it's back.....

 

Why do blondes wear panties? Keep their ankles warm...

 

I went for a lovely walk with a beautiful woman this morning












Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

 

What do an Amish woman and a hockey team have in common?




They all shower after the third period.

 

The old parrot says the Lords prayer when you pull his left leg and the ten commandants when you pull his right leg. What happens when pull both the parrot says I fall on my ass stupid.

 

Latest episode of Shooting USA covered the Camp Perry matches.

A guy who had competed 19 times prior won! How's that for persistence as well as skill? Don

 

Mueller Report?

 

Aren't you supposed to hasslin' @G30SF/F-250 ?

 

Wrasslin', not hasslin'........

 

He needs some good hasslin', witty retort expected

 

A very obscene, dirty joke when I was a very little kid. My how times have changed.

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it. Betty Grable is standing on the corner with a hat on. THAT'S ALL! THAT'S ALL!

OK, everyone can stop laughing now.

Another one.

What happened to the lady that backed into an airplane propeller?

Are you ready for this? Disaster.

This one would get your mouth washed out with soap.

 

The Indians kicked Columbus in the ass for telling those.

 

A tad long, ‘Redneck engineer’


The toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem.


The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected. Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution, on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone in the project was pleased.


They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it should. The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line. As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty boxes were being shipped out of the factory.


With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent. He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero! The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day. He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.


Puzzled, the CEO travelled down to the factory, viewed the part of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution sat a $20 desk fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin.


He asked the line supervisor what that was about. "Oh, that," the supervisor replied, "Bert, the kid from maintenance, put it there because he was tired of walking over, removing the box and re-starting the line every time the bell rang!"

 

Fine...

Two brothers, 7 & 9, are playing in their room one morning.
The oldest says "We're old enough to start cussin'"
His brother responds "Yeah we are!"
Oldest "I'll say hell, you say ass"

Just then their mother calls them down for breakfast, they run downstairs and sit at the eating bar. Looking at the older brother she asks "what would you like for breakfast?", "aw hell, give me some Cheerios". She slaps him off the bar stool, he hits the floor and runs upstairs crying. "And what would you like" she asked the youngest, "I don't know but you can bet your ass it ain't Cheerios".

Please, contain your applause

 

You need to haul over to the beer thread....

 

But I'm drinking Jager