Old men in the shooting sports; A 90-year-old man was bragging to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who went hunting one day. But in a hurry he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. He saw a beaver sitting beside the stream, raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly." . Clueless daughter; A daughter asks, "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't quite understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." To which her Dad replies: "You tell your boyfriend, that if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe."