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Old Lady

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by 8up, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. 8up

    8up

    Joined:
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    Location:
    boondocks
    Lawyers should never ask a witness a question
    if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
    witness, an elderly grandmother, to the stand. He approached her and
    asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams.
    I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
    you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
    your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
    backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
    you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper-pusher.
    Yes, I know you."
    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, and wanting to at
    least attempt to recover some footing, he pointed across the room and
    asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

    She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
    a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
    He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
    one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
    wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
    know him."

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
    quiet voice said, "Neither of you bastards better ask her if she knows me."