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Old.... but funny.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Thermal, Jan 15, 2004.

  1. Thermal

    Thermal Got Beer?

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    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
    2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
    3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That. > 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
    5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
    6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors."
    7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." >
    8. Dont use any punctuation
    9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
    10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
    11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
    12. Sing Along At The Opera.
    13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
    14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
    15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
    16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
    17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
    18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
    19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
     
  2. exmdshooter

    exmdshooter WWJMBD?

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    This reminds me of something that happened to me last weekend... when I did pretty much this exact thing. Went to the Post Office for stamps, but the line was huge. Didn't feel like waiting in line for a lousy book of first class stamps, so I hit the vending machine. All I had was a twenty... for what... a $7.40 book of stamps?

    The machine gave me my stamps, followed by "the Sacagawea and Suzy-B jackpot." So without even thinking I said "WooHoo! I hit the jackpot" while those around me stared. You had to be there, but it felt (and sounded) just like Vegas.

    Now I gotta get rid of those stinkin' coins.
     

  3. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    My wife does this all the time. I bet she has 20lbs of those coins. It is standing joke we go anywhere near a Post Office she bigs me to stop so she can see if she can play machines. Course I have to leave gun in car so I would rather pass but in we go.
    Here is a place wher folks loiter, there are most wanted posters on wall and a machine telling EVERYONE you have $$$ and you can't carry. Makes sense to me.....NOT>
     
  4. J Sand

    J Sand Lost cause

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    Hahaha, I actually did that at McDonalds once. The sad part is that I wasn't even trying to be funny and it just slipped out.;g
     
  5. Guest

    I really like that coffee idea, that sounds like it could be really fun! Ha ha! I can just see Jenny (my Manager at the Board shop) freaking out on Espresso....;P
     
  6. 257izmycal

    257izmycal

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    When going thru the drive thru, instead of saying your order is to go, say it is for here.
     
  7. Roddy

    Roddy

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    When I worked in fast food a lot of people said this and we always confirmed it with them, "That was to go you said?" or laughed at the guy when we weren't talking to him. We made fun of a lot of people.
     
  8. freepatriot

    freepatriot Retired GT Mod Moderator

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    That's not good for your complexion. :)



    I like to order at drive-through places in a clipped British accent and then pickup up the food with a Southern Texas accent.