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oh goody it's one of those days. *sigh*

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by BEER, Jan 25, 2012.

  1. BEER

    BEER bad example

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    6:00am. i wake up and head for the coffee pot. Girl is already awake and blasts me with both barrels of her **** cannon before i even pull a mug out of the dishwasher. apparently aunt flow is in town and it's time to take the menstrual cycle for a spin around the block.

    6:30am. i head out the door to discover it's raining so no work today which means no pay.

    6:40am. i head for the shop to putter around and finish painting a project. i open the bucket of paint and bend down to load my brush. KAPLOOP! in goes my zippo and my cellphone from my shirt pocket. as an added "**** you" from the universe the resulting splash defies the laws of physics and makes it high enough to nail me in the face. glidden paint tastes like crap.

    7:45am. i give up on salvaging the phone, it's toast. the zippo will be fine in a couple of hours after the mineral spirits dry.

    8:00am. i take a shower and right as i remember the little sticky pad things i've been meaning to install in the tub i slip and bust my ***. nothing is broken but i'm going to have an awfully impressive bruise in an awfully uncomfortable place for the next week or so.

    9:00am. i decide to sulk off to the man cave and discuss my sudden run of wonderful luck with my buddy jim beam. unfortunately jim is still in the house from the last shindig we had, and i think the sorry sob is flirting with my girl, and possibly her sister who is now here "supporting" my girl by the way. "supoorting" means they're both roadtripping together on their monthly psycho hose beast field trip from hell.

    current time. i am debating on whether i want to push my luck and risk a trip to the liquor store, or make a mad dash into the house, grab the bottle, and beat a hasty retreat back to the fortress of solitude.

    the rest of yall have a good day, somebody sure as hell needs to. lol
     
  2. frank4570

    frank4570

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    Straight to the liquor store, and back.


    What could possibly go wrong being under this cloud of bad luck, and driving to the liquor store at 0900 in the morning? :rofl:


    Hide, just hide.
     

  3. Chaos88

    Chaos88

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    Ill take a shot for you my friend. I vote go to the store its not worth the risk
     
  4. mgs

    mgs Always Carrying Millennium Member

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    They open at 9:30! That would be my luck.
     
  5. argy1182

    argy1182

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    Damn. Rough go man.
     
  6. Huaco Kid

    Huaco Kid

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    "...Where ever I may roam, On land or sea or foam..."
     
  7. frank4570

    frank4570

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    Actually, if you call he police and tell then about your day, they just might give you a ride to the liquor store and back just for the safety of everybody else.
     
  8. KiloBravo

    KiloBravo NRA Life Member

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    Damn Beer...I hope tomorrow goes better for you my friend! :wavey:

    Maybe it would be best to get some booze, take a few snorts, and go back to bed until tomorrow morning. :supergrin:
     
  9. MadMonkey

    MadMonkey Spershul Furces

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    Go for it. I've learned that no matter how bad things get, you usually won't have a massively bad stroke of luck on a trip to the liquor store and back.

    Do NOT make any detours though. Murphy's Law will take that as a personal affront and unleash a stream of hell the likes of which you've never seen. Straight there, straight back, let us know how it goes.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  10. BEER

    BEER bad example

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    nope, with the way my day is going so far i'm not gonna risk getting in the truck.

    i've got a 12 pack of beer stashed here in the cave, but it's keystone lite, and it's warm*. i've got a beer fridge in here but it takes forever to get drinks cold enough to be tolerable.

    i'm off to youtube to see if i can find some sort of magic trick to instantly chill beer.

    *i do not buy keystone, nor do i endorse it for human consumption. this is leftover from a party awhile back that somebody else brought it to. "desperate times call for desperate measures" and all that.*
     
  11. Singlemalt

    Singlemalt In the rough

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    My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
     
  12. Singlemalt

    Singlemalt In the rough

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    Cooler, bunch of ice and then a bunch of table salt.
     
  13. MtBaldy

    MtBaldy Obie Wan, RIP

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    You've got ear protection don't you? Put it on and make a dash for the Jim Beam.

    I feel your pain, at one point when both my wife's daughters were teenagers I would have three in the house at once. You know they synchronize right? I probably could claim PTSD from never knowing where the next outburst was coming from. My solution was hide in the computer room with Macallan 12 yo and hope I didn't become collateral damage.
     
  14. Adjuster

    Adjuster

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    Fire extinguisher will almost instantly freeze a beer.


    /
     
  15. lpo

    lpo what?!?!?!?!?

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    You kicked this guy out of the party, right? LOL!

    I'm kidding, god knows I have had a few of those days myself. Hang in there. You only have a 12 hours or so to go.
     
  16. Ian Moone

    Ian Moone

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    Dude ...you do realize the hell you will have to pay when "aunt flo's angel of death" descends upon you for having nothing better to do than get drunk on beer when her life is in total shambles.

    :rofl: Enjoy my friend.
     
  17. powder86

    powder86 SHOOT SAFE!

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  18. BEER

    BEER bad example

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    that used to be the case, UNTIL i suggested to her that she get a female friend to suffer with because "i just don't get it sweety and that's wrong of me, but i can't help it."

    what i didn't count on was her finding a fellow medusa and "synching" with her/them and all of them turning aginst me at once. now she's got 2 sisters, 3 friends, and some whacked out liberal chick i've met like twice that she calls during this special time. fortunately i only have to deal with the liberal on really bad days when her and her bleeding cronies can't find me to torture.

    p.s. for those of you keeping score, if you shotgun the 1st 3 warm keystones the rest aren't so bad.

    p.p.s. i am ****** like an inflatable anchor, but i've been at it since early this morning.