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odds and ends

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Feb 28, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Subject: Thought for the day


    Of all feats of skill, the most difficult is that of being honest.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to
    marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his
    two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious
    pancakes.
    "Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide
    whether to marry for batter or verse."
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    Morris Epstein Was Taking An Oral Exam Applying for his US Citizenship
    Papers.
    He Was Asked To Spell "Cultivate" .... He Spelled It Correctly. He Was
    Then Asked To Use The Word In A Sentence. He Brightened Up And Said,
    "Last Vinter On A Very Cold Day, I Vas Vaiting For A Bus, But It Vas Too
    Cultivate, So I Took The Subvay Home."
    ```````~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    An auto mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a
    clunking noise when going around corners. He took the car out for a test
    drive and made two right turns, each time hearing a loud clunk.
    Back at the shop, he returned the car to the service manager with this
    note:
    "Removed bowling ball from trunk."