Nursing home?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 11, 2005.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Muskogee Ok.
    I just heard on CNN that the average cost for a Nursing Home per day in the USA is $188!!
    Now, I figure it this way, I can get a real nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65... that leaves $123 for beer, food (room service), laundry, Elvis collectibles, gratuities and clothes.
    They have a swimming pool, some even have a workout room (therapy), a lounge, cable (recreation), washer dryer (if I am too impaired, a child or grandchild can pick up my clothes once a week, or they could rotate, that way everyone would only have to do it twice a year).
    Most have free toothpaste and razors, but all have free shampoo and soap.
    There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's all right, it takes months to get into some Nursing Homes.
    There is the Senior bus, the Handicap bus, a Church bus or van, cabs, alert cabs, public transportation!
    You have security and if someone sees you drop over, I am sure they would call an ambulance (if you break your hip, hopefully the family would be smart enough to sue). What more could you ask for?!
    With AAUP and other Senior discounts, I could be liven' pretty damn nicely.
    So, when I reach that Golden age, help me keep my grin, just check my old rickety *** into the nearest Holiday Inn!