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Now This Is Funny

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Rick from Kali, May 15, 2009.

  1. Rick from Kali

    Rick from Kali

    Likes Received:
    Sep 21, 2002
    This is GREAT!

    Subject: FW: As Posted on Craig's List

    Posted to Craig's List Personals:

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
    Downtown Savannah night before last.

    Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST

    I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
    hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
    You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

    I hope you somehow come across this message.

    I'd like to apologize.

    I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after
    you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
    evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

    You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber

    Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas,
    and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
    Beautiful pistol, eh?

    It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
    your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
    walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
    flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
    also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I
    couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try
    to mug us again.

    I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"
    as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
    situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas
    station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy
    with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
    Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

    I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked

    at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and

    keyed the drivers side.

    Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for

    a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.

    I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.

    I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the D A 's office

    and one to the FBI with it.

    The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat

    (I guess while he traced the number).

    I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
    making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
    reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..

    - Alex

    P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!

    * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain