close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

No Nursing Home For Me

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Nowhere Man, Aug 29, 2003.

  1. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Location:
    North Port, FL
    With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have ascertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

    They have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

    Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast,
    though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner. There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes.

    There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

    The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to sue. What more can you ask for? As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.

    So:

    When I reach the Golden age help me keep my grin. Just check my old
    rickety *** into the nearest Holiday Inn!
     
  2. geminicricket

    geminicricket NRA Life member

    Messages:
    6,560
    Likes Received:
    26
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2001
    Location:
    Lewisville, TX USA
    You know, that is a good idea, really.
    The mexican cleaning lady will certainly tell somebody if she comes in one day and finds you unconscious ... so for an extra $1 a day you can get one of those health monitor radio thingys so that you can tell somebody who can speak English when you need help.
     

  3. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

    Messages:
    7,059
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 1999
    Location:
    Montanuh
  4. Guest

    I have the perfect retirement plan...when I'm too old to do what I like to do, break out the Glock...
     
  5. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Location:
    North Port, FL
    Good luck!:)
     
  6. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Location:
    North Port, FL
    I hope you're kidding.
     
  7. donbarzini

    donbarzini a pair of 10's

    Messages:
    165
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2003
    Location:
    phoenix, az
    exactly