My boss asked recently what my position was, I told him,
"Standing or sitting when not lying down."
Actually in all truth, my boss doesn't know his own position, and since he's had it for 10 years he won't ask his boss what he actually is supposed to do.
Greatest Quote EVER

In regards to Gecko_45's diatribe on body armor)
"If plan A is to take multiple rounds of .308 in your back, I'd come up with a Plan B"