New Drugs For Women

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by groverglock, Jul 30, 2005.

  1. groverglock

    groverglock Guns & Hoses

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    Mar 4, 2002
    D A M N I T O L
    Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

    ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

    E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
    Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

    P E P T O B I M B O
    Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

    D U M B E R O L
    When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

    F L I P I T O R
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    M E N I C I L L I N
    Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person… Can we get naked now?"

    B U Y A G R A
    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

    J A C K A S S P I R I N
    Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

    A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

    N A G A M E T
    When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.