New Age corporate and investment acronyms

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by joegerardi, Oct 15, 2002.

  1. joegerardi

    joegerardi Lifetime Member Millennium Member

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    New Age corporate and investment acronyms

    CEO: chief embezzlement officer.

    CFO: corporate fraud officer.

    P/E: parole entitlement.

    EPS: eventual prison sentence.

    BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

    MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low.

    VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower

    P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BUY, BUY: A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

    STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

    MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

    WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital

    PROFIT: Religious guy who talks to God...
     
  2. Macadder

    Macadder

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  3. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    joe, great stuff!LMAO;f