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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by canis latrans, Apr 6, 2020.
What is the best thing about lawyer jokes? They’re funny AND they are actionable.
Definition of a "crying shame:" Bus load of lawyers goes off a cliff and 1 seat is empty.
A lawyer and a doctor were making small talk at a social function.
Doctor: Tell me, do people ask for your advice at functions such as this?
Lawyer: All the time.
Doctor: What do you do?
Lawyer: I answer their questions then send them a bill in the mail.
Three days later the doctor received a bill in the mail from the lawyer.
What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of a lake?
A good start.
Question: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of horse crap?
Answer: The bucket.
Two lawyers go to confession....no, that can't be right.
Difference between a lawyer and a carp? One is a scum sucking slimy bottom dweller, and the other one is a type of fish.
Oldie but goodie: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying - his lips are moving.
Why won't a snake bite a lawyer?
Whats black and brown and looks good on a laywer ???
Why did the lawyer cancel the leper's hockey game?
There was a face off.
Sorry, I like leper jokes.
I love lawyer jokes as much as anyone, but the attorney I use is a credit to his profession. He's a stand up, honest guy doing his best to help you out.
I hear you.
my favorite lawyer is my daughter...but I still feel a need to "needle" her a little....
Two lawyers were stranded on a desert island for a month. One day a beautiful woman floated up to their island on a small raft. She was unconscious but alive.
One of the lawyers asked “should we screw her?”
The other lawyer asked “outta what?”
Anomalous: standing out of the ordinary...
What happens when you give Viagra to a lawyer? He gets taller.
That's funnier than judging a hoky poky contest at s leper community.
There was a corporate attorney where I used to work. This lawyer, among other things came to meetings and talked to us about affirmative action, contracts, etc. Great guy and he always opened his presentation with a lawyer joke.