Glock Forum - GlockTalk banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Bunny Hunter
Joined
·
60 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My girlfriend and I are in college and lately some bad things have happened. I just don't know how to respond when I get an email from her like this

I was waiting for the elevator this afternoon. So I read couple flyers on the wall, while I waited.
I read that there has been two sexual assaults last month and one ACTUAL rape. The rape was done by three guys. That's crazy. No wonder Tiara sounded concerned in the library. She said she would actually come back and pick me up when I'm done, cause she left early.
Ohh.
I love you and now I'm scared. Shoot.
Any help would be appreciated ladies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
Rape is probably one of the scariest things that women have to face - especially on a college campus because the campuses are wipe open with lots of accessable places for the bad guys. The bes thing you can do is acknowledge that her fears are real, don't downplay them, be supportive, and be available to escort her (as much as you can) from building to building.

Also help her look into rape prevention classes either on campus, or off - that will help her feel a little more empowered. If she's open to the idea of learning to shoot, that might help too, but if she's that scared my guess is that she's not going to be really open to that right now - and that's ok. If she is open to learning to shoot, I would help find a good teacher (not you - no offence but she needs an objective teacher in this situation) and help her get signed up. Notice that I say - help her get signed up...she needs to be the one signing up for the classes - it's HER empowerment and HER classes...not yours. You can only be supportive and help provide info. Maybe you can take the classes together? Never a thing as too much training - even the rape prevention classes unless they are women's only - and some of them are. That's the sign of a supportive person.

Hope this helps - other's will have more suggestions I'm sure.

BTW - I am a rape survivor...and yes, it was in college. I hope she doesn't have to go through what I went through...and I WISH I had a person like you who had helped me in college.
 

·
Sharon, you will be missed.
Joined
·
26,373 Posts
does your college prohibit firearms? I second the motion of a self defense class, and suggest a good OC spray for her to carry. She's lucky to have you to take her concerns seriously.


RNchick, :hugs:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
Originally posted by Mrs. VR
does your college prohibit firearms? I second the motion of a self defense class, and suggest a good OC spray for her to carry. She's lucky to have you to take her concerns seriously.


RNchick, :hugs:
Thx Mrs. VR - it was a long time ago & now I'm glad to be able to help other people. OC spray is a good option - & it should be covered in a good Rape Prevention class. She needs training for lots of reasons : empowerment that will help with that overwhelming sense of fear, education to help keep her out of those danger zones, and training to use the tools that are available. If she's willing and able (due to university regulations) to carry a handgun, that would be an excellent option as well...

Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with her. No one needs to let thier fear run their life...been their, done that, had the t-shirt...traded it for a Glock 19!
 

·
Bullseye?
Joined
·
715 Posts
Originally posted by rnchick
Thx Mrs. VR - it was a long time ago & now I'm glad to be able to help other people. OC spray is a good option - & it should be covered in a good Rape Prevention class. She needs training for lots of reasons : empowerment that will help with that overwhelming sense of fear, education to help keep her out of those danger zones, and training to use the tools that are available. If she's willing and able (due to university regulations) to carry a handgun, that would be an excellent option as well...

Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with her. No one needs to let thier fear run their life...been their, done that, had the t-shirt...traded it for a Glock 19!
Good advice and well stated!

Sorry you had to go through it yourself :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


Lynn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
Thx Mrs. VR - it was a long time ago & now I'm glad to be able to help other people
rnchick
This makes you incredibly supportive and empowering for others. Thank you for speaking out to help others this way. Something tells me this is not the first instance where you have helped in this way. Keep up the good work. :highfive:

:hugs: For encouragement.

Bunny_FuFu_4u-----------Some really good advice given. Your girlfriend is a lucky young lady to have you in her corner.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
Originally posted by TofsLady
rnchick
This makes you incredibly supportive and empowering for others. Thank you for speaking out to help others this way. Something tells me this is not the first instance where you have helped in this way. Keep up the good work. :highfive:

:hugs: For encouragement.

Bunny_FuFu_4u-----------Some really good advice given. Your girlfriend is a lucky young lady to have you in her corner.
I have been lucky that in my line of work, I have been able to talk with several women who has survived rape. Of course I wish I had not had to go through it, but I havegrown strong from it and have been able to lend support, so I guess there is a reason for everything. Bunny_FuFu_4u...let us know how things go. ok?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
606 Posts
OC Spray, a concealed carry permit, hand to hand self defense, all good suggestions. Look for a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. It talks about situational awareness and trusting your instincts. Rape and sexual assault are happening far too often, it's downright scary. And it's certainly one of the single most traumatic things that can happen to a person. I'm glad you're taking this issue seriously, most people don't, even when it happens to someone close to them.
 

·
Bunny Hunter
Joined
·
60 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
MO prohibits firearms on campus and CCW isn't available to those under 23 anyway, so we'll graduate long before that comes around.

Just this past weekend her and a few friends tried out paintball and now she's actually thinking about going to the range with me sometime. I tried for all these years, but never knew it was as easy as taking her out for some paintball. I think the interest in self-defense has begun.

Again, thank you for your help :hugs:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
431 Posts
Originally posted by Bunny_FuFu_4u
MO prohibits firearms on campus and CCW isn't available to those under 23 anyway, so we'll graduate long before that comes around.

Just this past weekend her and a few friends tried out paintball and now she's actually thinking about going to the range with me sometime. I tried for all these years, but never knew it was as easy as taking her out for some paintball. I think the interest in self-defense has begun.

Again, thank you for your help :hugs:
Well - whatever it takes! Seriously check into rape prevention classes though...she will benefit immensely from those!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
122 Posts
I was also raped, but my attacker was the guy I was dating. He was very abusive and beat and raped me repeatedly before I managed to get out of the relationship. It is great that she is taking this seriously. Pepperspray is good, and you might see if your campus offers an escort service. At my school, campus cops will walk you to wherever you need to go. Or a buddy system with you or her friends. A rape prevention class would be good, and also possibly a self-defense class. Hope this helps. :)

Edited to add: While it is good that she is aware of the situation and taking precations, try not to make it too big of a deal. Don't have her stop doing certain activities that she would normally do out of fear of an attack. After getting out my abusive relationship, I lost an entire semester at school because I was to afraid to leave my house for fear that my ex would find me. College rape is a horrible thing, and a viable concern, but don't let it control her life.
 

·
JAFMP
Joined
·
190 Posts
University/college law enforcement always UNDER REPORT the rate of serious crime. Administration insist on keeping the problem quiet and not publicly reported when they do. The law enforcement organizations on campuses vary widely in quality as well, which means their investigative and support functions are likely to be limited at best.

The better rape prevention/defense classes will offer a variety of options and make no claims that any one particular defense is the best. Martial arts can be useful, but your average woman is probably not going to get good at striking with fists. Consider programs that teach escape and evasion, there are some out there.

OC spray is OK, but has limitations in it's legality, effectiveness and practicality. A class in it's use is needed, but seldom available or attended.

A combination of resources and training is the best, along with an acknowledgement that life anywhere can be dangerous, but that we should keep our wits about us to reduce the liklihood of problems.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
93 Posts
"My girlfriend and I are in college and lately some bad things have happened. I just don't know how to respond when I get an email from her like this"

Bunny, if you happen to be in Springfield, MO (MSU?), it just happens that there will be a self-defense class on Saturday, May 13, at Christ Church Unity, 2214 E. Seminole. Call the church administrator at 887-2214 or stop by to get on the list (class size is limited).
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top