Need Advice

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Mabo, Mar 20, 2005.

  1. Mabo

    Mabo Want a beer?

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    Hello All,

    I need some advice concerning a girl. I have been hanging out with this friend of mine for the past three or four months. We started out as just friends but lately I have started to have feelings for her. The problem is she is emotionally unavailable right now (is in love with another guy in another country) and I don't think she feels the same towards me as I do her.

    I know that I am the type of person that if I keep seeing her I will just keep getting more attached and I will be setting myself up to be hurt. I want to tell her that I would still like to remain friends but that I don't want to see her or talk to her near as much as I do now. Any suggestions as to how I should go about doing this so as to maintain the friendship but limit our contact?

    Thanks,
    ;c ;c ;c
     
  2. NRA_guy

    NRA_guy Unreconstructed

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    Take her out and show her a good time and make her forget the other guy.

    Make sure you play the CD "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

    More relationships are missed because of fear of rejection than any other cause.

    But after she falls in love with you, and you date her for 2 years and get married and have 2-1/2 children and then she divorces you, you'll wonder what you ever saw in her.:) :)
     

  3. lastevolution

    lastevolution "Senior" Member

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    Think about it...is it a real possibility that a relationship will work when the guy if out of country? It might, but the chance is small.
     
  4. lastevolution

    lastevolution "Senior" Member

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    What I'm trying to say is...spend some time with her. Hopefully, the more time you spend with her, the less she'll think about the other guy.
     
  5. Mabo

    Mabo Want a beer?

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    No chance of stealing her away while she has this other guy on her mind. She needs to figure out for herself that he either is/isn't the one for her before she would even consider dating another guy.
     
  6. mally_b

    mally_b Lost

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    I would suggest that you just tell her how you feel if there is anything there then it will come out and be made stronger if not then she will probibly naturally start to create some distance with you. If you feel really strongly for her then reach out and try. Have no fear life is too short to be afraid.
     
  7. Aphotic

    Aphotic happy-go-lucky

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    Spend more time with her. Show her you care about her, be patient. Make sure you communicate with her, and tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, you have a reason to spend less time with her. If she responds positively... well, you're in!
     
  8. Mabo

    Mabo Want a beer?

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    Well I told her how I felt. She said she wasn't interested but still wanted to keep the friendship. I told her that I would still like to be friends with her also but for the sake of my mental sanity I would like to see each other less often. She didn't like the idea of that but said she would take what time she could get with me. So anyone know when it's my turn to have someone like me, who has the list and can let me know how far down it I am.
    ^2
     
  9. Aphotic

    Aphotic happy-go-lucky

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    You done good!

    She obviously enjoys your company, and will begin to miss your time together shortly. This little episode isn't finished yet.

    If in fact, you don't see her anymore, it's her loss man.

    Good job though.
     
  10. NRA_guy

    NRA_guy Unreconstructed

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    Er, this "other guy" is not wearing a uniform in Iraq or Afganistan is he?

    Women always like their mental image of a guy more than they do the real guy. That's what they mean when they say they have fallen out of love. It means they finally saw the guy for who he really is.

    PS: Women only want a man if other women want him. A guy with no girlfriend cannot buy a date. A scroungy guy with a girlfriend has to turn chicks away. Your next step is to find another woman---or at least imply that you have.
     
  11. Mabo

    Mabo Want a beer?

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    No the other guy is Scottish, not an American soldier. The good news is I have started working out again and I'm just going to try and move on. Half of me just never wants to see her again the other half says try and remain friends. I hate remaining friends with women who know I like them, I get over them a lot easier with the "out of sight out of mind" method. Hopefully I will find another girl, not to rub in her face, just another girl who puts her to shame ;f
     
  12. mally_b

    mally_b Lost

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    Good job you will get thru this. She is not ready yet and maybe never will be. There are plunty of good women in the world I am sure you will find one don't give up;f
     
  13. Aphotic

    Aphotic happy-go-lucky

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    This is one of the most underrated pieces of advice on the planet. Before I started dating, I was a complete dork- I couldn't even get the fat, ugly chicks. Once I started dating my first girlfriend (Captain of the Cheerleading squad... no lie...) it was a struggle to stay faithful. And I was still a dork. All of her friends heard stories about how "sweet" I was and crap like that... It was actually kind of pathetic.

    But I do notice nowadays that if I'm at the mall or a game or anywhere in public holding hands or flirting around with my girlfriend, that other girls seem to notice and give me "the look" on a fairly regular basis. The girlfriend hates it, I always just laugh. After all, I'm going home with HER... psh, chicks.

    But yeah, best advice? If you want lots of girls, just start dating ONE. The rest have some weird female-dominance-competition-thing where they think "How come she has a boyfriend and I don't? I bet I could get a guy like that... hell, I bet I could get HIM if I wanted to!"
     
  14. Texas Boy

    Texas Boy

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    "I dont even have any skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." - Napoleon Dynamite
     
  15. GU-47

    GU-47 Boys! Avenge me

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    Astute observation, and to the original post sorry I got no advice