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Near death experence

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 25, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?" God replied, "Girl, I didn't even recognize you."
     
  2. southernshooter

    southernshooter

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    That reminds me of Jerry Clower telling about a preacher in a flood, up on the roof of his house with the water rising. A boat came by and tried to pick him up, He said "No thanks the Lord will take care of me, 2 more boats passed by, he said the same thing. Then a helicopter tried to drop a rope down. He said "No thanks, the Lord will take care of me" The water kept rising and finally he drowned. When he got to heaven he asked the Lord "Why didn't you help me?" The Lord said "I sent 3 boats and a helicopter"