My son was disappointed and let down

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by tongix, Nov 13, 2010.

  1. tongix

    tongix

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    He is in middle school and has worked hard to develop his skills in violin. He was one of 16 students selected by the school district judges for their excellence in violin . Im very proud of him as a parent.

    Now last evening they had their middle school concert . In front of many parents , the music teacher mentioned of the 16 students nominated . Every one clapped and she proceeded to publicly recognize their names. She named 15 students only and my son's name was left out. WTF !
    ANyhow after the concert my son was not smiling and acting awkward. I knew something was wrong . He later said at the restaurant his name was supposed to be mentioned but teacher miss it. WHy ? How could she missed his name in such a special event esp recognizing their hard work and achievement. Teen age years is the time when kids want to be recognized and praised. Now the teacher blew it . Im just f king mad about it.

    I think i have to talk to the music teacher or the principal come this Monday. Sorry for the rant....
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2010
  2. jimeradams

    jimeradams

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    That is so not right. Middle school is rough enough as it is. I don't blame you for being so extremely unhappy. Hopefully this was just a brain fart on the teacher's part. Hope you get it worked out for your son!
     

  3. SheepleNoMore

    SheepleNoMore

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    Stuff happens, mistakes are made. Make your displeasure known and accept the apology I'm sure they will offer.

    Congratulations on your sons achievement.
     
  4. lanternlad

    lanternlad Mythmatician

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    Life is tough. Teach your child to handle disappointment. He'll thank you for it in the future.
     
  5. ischoll

    ischoll

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    :violin:<---- I always wondered what this was for.:supergrin: That does suck and i hope all works out.
     
  6. PBCounty

    PBCounty

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    Middle school and your son is playing in a concert? You've got nothing to worry about....drugs and sex were the name of the game in my middle school days - nevermind the forgetful teacher.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2010
  7. Spiffums

    Spiffums I.C.P.

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    And make the Music Teacher feel like total complete crap....... this way you get your revenge too for him/her making your child feel that way.
     
  8. Bill Keith

    Bill Keith

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    Mistakes do happen. Why not let your son ask his teacher why his name was omitted? A middle school kid is not too young to ask and talk about perceived slights in life and it is helpful to learn how to problem solve without calling in mom or dad to sort things out. Be supportive, it is a learning and maturing experience he needs to walk through in learning how to deal with disappointments in life, IMHO
     
  9. lunarspeak

    lunarspeak

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    im sorry but this is alittle childish..so the teacher forgot his name in a middle school concert..now you want to go to the principal? let him remind the teacher on monday so she can say sorry to him personaly,he doesnt need you holding his hand...

    what are you going to do when he gets in his first fight or his first girlfriend breaks up with him...make them say im sorry ?

    lets be real..if you do complain whats going to happen..they are only going to say sorry (and not really mean it),they not going to go over the intercome and say " hey we forgot to mention this person" and they will probably think less of your teenage son haveing his father come to school and complaining over something like this..

    dont embarrass him more.
     
  10. automatic slim

    automatic slim Former "Walmart Shopper"

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    Toughen up a bit. I know it hurts his pride, but it's not that big a deal. I tell my kids, "I really do hope that's the worst thing that ever happens to you".
    Certainly don't get the teacher involved. Simple mistake.
     
  11. Lew-G17

    Lew-G17

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    Excellent advice. When the teacher is questioned by your son, the apology that follows will do wonders for his self confidence, and earn him the respect of his peers.
     
  12. IndyGunFreak

    IndyGunFreak

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    I would follow the advice of these 3 guys. He doesn't really have a "right" to have his name read... Yeah it would have been nice, but I'm sure it was an accidental oversight on the teachers part. Nothing can be done at this point.. Personally I'd tell him to buck up, there will be far bigger disappointments than that in life. If he wants to ask his teacher why he was omitted, then let him... You going down there just makes you an annoying parent.

    IGF
     
  13. norton

    norton

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    During my sons youth he played baseball because he loved the game. But he was small physically, and often was sent to the second tier all star teams because of his size. It was a motivator for him. By high school, many of those "stars" of former years no longer played the game. Scott went on to be a 2 year starter in Varsity.
    It was a great character builder for him.
    It can be a character builder for your own son. Tell him to work hard.
     
  14. Just1More

    Just1More

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    Reminds me when I graduated from college a couple years ago. My whole family came to the ceremony and my name wasn't in the program book! Thankfully, my name was called to recieve my diploma.

    That's some rotten luck about your son. It's not his fault, and he needs to know that...life goes on.
     
  15. Marine8541

    Marine8541 iseedeadpeople

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    As a wrestling coach for a middle School I have between 50-60 kids. One year at a banquet I was naming of the city Champs and out of around 10 I forgot a name. The next Monday the kids parents made a federal case out of it. I apologised and moved on and there was nothing I could do. Sometimes things happen in life.
     
  16. tarpleyg

    tarpleyg

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    I agree. Let him handle it. Discuss it with him and explain why and what is expected. He'll do fine and he'll get over this. This is the first of many disappointments in life.

    Greg
     
  17. Cali-Glock

    Cali-Glock Mountain Man

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    It is unfortunate, but a good life lesson. Being let down and disapointed is the human condition.
     
  18. .264 magnum

    .264 magnum CLM

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    Here's an faq about how to handles this:

    *Have your son ask the teacher about the omission on Monday - only get involved further if you think your son won't ask

    *Leave the administration out of this

    *I can almost guarantee the teacher will feel terrible but must do better next time

    *Your son must ask to learn about resolving difficult situations - this is a start

    *If he does not ask it might bother him for a long time, asking should bring some closure
     
  19. MarcoPolo

    MarcoPolo

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    His reward is in the accomplishment. Sure, having his name read would have been great, but this is a TREMENDOUS teaching moment for your boy. You can blow up and berate the teacher, or you can teach him that his hard work *itself* was the payoff... and teach him to show some grace as well.

    These things happend. Today it was a name read in an assembly. Someday it will be a boss, wife, or one of your children who takes your best effort and overlooks it... learning how to handle that now will separate him from most of the folks we tend to bash on this board.

    Congrats to your son for his accomplishment!

    (Here's an example from our family: My daughter was in maybe 2nd grade and LOVES art. We got a letter stating that she had been selected for the city art fair with a number of other schools. We make an event of it, get dressed up, and plan on going to her favorite restaurant for lunch as a family afterward, grandparents and all. We get there and cannot find her sculpture. Guess what... the art teacher informs us that she wasn't selected and the letter must have been sent in error. I walked away, gained some composure, and then went back with my daughter and handled it with grace. As much as my wife wanted her displeasure to be known and to storm out of the event, we stayed and enjoyed the other kids work. My kids now know that when they drop the ball, there is forgiveness.)
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2010
  20. mesteve2

    mesteve2

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    Grab that so called teacher by the Neck and Shake for 90 minutes!

    Need to treat all alike!