Jokes from the Muslim standup comic, Goffaq Yussef. Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies! On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied." What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already! How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it! Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians? It bombed! What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty! Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity! Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because it's just a stone's throw from Israel! Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group! A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people! What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."