1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm 2. Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines 3. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese 4. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol 5. I intend to live forever - so far, so good 6. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy 7. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 8. If you aint makin waves, you aint kickin hard enough! 9. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! 10. Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States 11. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of 12. Robin Hood was a terrorist 13. Seen it all, done it all, cant remember most of it 14. Shake well before and after use 15. Support bacteria - theyre the only culture some people have 16. The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash 17. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 18. When everythings coming your way, youre in the wrong lane. 19. People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because its safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. 20.Honk if you have never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.